The Waiting Room

Dear Heavenly Father the wait is so hard. I desire so deeply to be a mom. Oh the joy of motherhood I long to feel. Dear Father help ease my soul. I cherish this uninterrupted time with You but my heart yearns for a baby. Waiting is so hard. Hope deferred truly makes the heart sick. Comfort me dear Father. Things look all over the place right now Father. I long for a home I can call mine. Settle me in one place Father. I am tired of moving constantly. When will I be anchored Father? Father thank You for getting me all my meds. Lord help me to wait on You. Help me to wait on all Your promises. The wait is hard. I’m weary Father. I’m in so much debt. This country is made to entrap people in its web. The whole credit system is mammon. Lord I don’t want to raise my kids in this society. Take us to the motherland Father where they can run around freely, eat fresh fruit and grow up on the beach. This country is so full of evil. My nervous system just can’t relax. It’s always something. Lord You know my deepest heart desires. When Lord? Help my soul to be patient. I don’t want to be tied to a 30 year mortgage Lord. I don’t want to be tethered to this country. Help me break free from this system of oppression. Trusting You Father can be hard at times. You tell me to walk by faith and not by sight. Help me Lord. Help me to persevere and endure the wait. All this debt is trying to bury me Lord. Help me pay off all my debt oh Father God. I’m praying for a miracle! Lord help my finances. I’m working so hard dear Lord. I’m tired. Help pay off all my debt. It’s a need oh Lord! Your Word says You will provide for all our needs according to Your riches in Glory. All I have are Your promises of prosperity to hold fast onto. My grip is slipping dear Lord. There is too much evil in this land. Help me to have a home dearest Father. I just need somewhere I can lay my head down. Help me to rest in Your Hands. Help me to rest in hope. Don’t delay Father. I’m getting so weary. I’m carrying so much. I lay it at your feet dear Lord. Take away my burdens. I’m not happy in this place. I’m holding on to Proverbs 3:5 Lord. Half the year is gone. I pray the next six months might be wayyyyy better than the previous 6 months. I pray to just take things one day at a time and not worry about the how. It is Your job to take care of the how and my job to trust. Help remind me of this. Guide me Lord. You know best. Help me in this waiting season. You said when I delight in You You give me my heart desires. I’m trusting You oh God. Come through for me! Thank You for this job Lord. Thank You for the beautiful weather. It’s in Jesus name I pray. Amen. 

Father here I am again. Feeling so alone and forgotten. I feel like everyone’s life is moving on and I’m just here. Help me to hang on to my faith that this season won’t be permanent. I pray I can turn around and comfort others who find themselves in my situation. You say You don’t waste pain and i believe you. I’m sad that I can’t feel love and excitement like I used to before. Help me feel these emotions as easily as before. You are a miracle-working God and I believe You can do it. Help me not to see the world as gray. Restore my joie de vivre. Help me to do fun things I enjoyed before.  I’m grieving the loss of my old life, how happy and bubbly I was. How innocent I was. Dear Father my heart is hurting. I just feel like I’m in limbo. Help me dear Father to take things one day at a time. Give me the mind of Christ. Help me not to be irritable. Help me to endure this season. Thank You Father. 

Dear Heavenly Father I’m in pain. Depression wants to swallow me. Hopelessness is crouching at me. Lord I need Your comfort in this moment. My heart is so heavy Father. I don’t know where all this is coming from. Father deliver me from this spirit of heaviness that’s upon me. Grieving my old life is so painful. Lord You pulled me out of the world but I’m still reminded of it. I just feel like I’m in limbo. I want to be totally committed to You but I fall short Lord. Help me to connect to this tribe dear Heavenly Father. Prove to me that You are the God of the impossible and You are my Healer. I don’t want to identify with CPTSD but I’m struggling Father. Is it my meds I’m taking? I hate that I need all these meds to just get out of bed and function and hold a job. Lord I am tired. Grieving the loss of old friendships is so hard. Mourning the life I had. Which part is the trauma and which part is You dear Lord in this journey that I’m in. The world is so distracting Father. I want to pursue You fully. I’m just in limbo. No longer who I was but not yet who You’ve said I am. Help me Father. Draw me out of this mire I find myself in. Keep me anchored in You dear God. In Your Presence is peace and tranquility. You are a gentle River flowing into the dry places of my heart. My faith is being tested. Strengthen me Lord. Help me to wait in peace. I have the Prince of Peace in my heart so why should my heart be anxious. I’m sad because I’m mourning this superficial friendship I was holding onto. Lord You’re pruning people from my life and though it’s painful, it’s necessary. That was my flesh reaching out to her when i know in my spirit that she’s not a good friend. Help me Father to let go…